Everyone wants a pizza the action

I didn't study economics at college. Maths, physics and chemistry were my chosen subjects. All very logical. I'd walk through the corridors wearing my acid-spotted lab coat and carrying a copy of New Scientist, imagining I looked simultaneously studious and exciting. Probably contravening assorted safety recommendations as well. But I did have friends who studied economics. I particularly remember one of my contemporaries emerging shell-shocked from an A-level economics class. The tutor, having prepared his class for their exams, had just admitted that college-level economics didn't really work in the real world. That reassured me I'd made the right choice. Not only was physics consistent outside the classroom but 'Power equals Current times Voltage' still comes in handy for choosing a replacement fuse.

The reality of local economics - microeconomics, I think my student friend would have called it - struck me this week when I popped up to the shops. First, the bad news. The greengrocer's is closed and the fish & chip shop has been campaigning against the arrival of a pizza retailer. Now the good news. The butcher's started selling nice-looking veg and there's a pizza shop coming.

A sign in the greengrocer’s window says "Due to local competition we will no longer be trading". The words 'local competition' are underlined, just in case anyone misses the point. I’m not sure I’d be so willing to admit that other people were doing a better job than me. This seems as implausible as Michael Schumacher announcing "I'm slower than I used to be but was hoping the younger guys would let me overtake them occasionally".

The situation at the fish & chip shop is equally confused. Last time I was there, a group of young lads almost signed the anti-pizza petition before they realised it wasn't a campaign to encourage Domino's into the village. The chippy is happy with the Indian restaurant and the bakery but doesn’t want another outlet offering takeaway food. Apparently that’s the last straw. (Probably a cheese straw if the bakery’s involved).

I know, I know, I'm oversimplifying. The opening of a pizza franchise may see enough mopeds on our streets to look like a remake of Quadrophenia. But complaints against someone adding variety?  As my physics-loving role model from Star Trek might declare, that’s illogical.

Maybe that's what the college lecturer meant when he said A-level economics didn't work in the real world. Maybe it’s the theoretical version that makes much more sense. It certainly does to me. Mind you, I also think pizza and chips sounds rather appealing.

First published on vivalewes.com 18th October 2012: http://vivalewes.com/